I've got this bad habit that I kind of love.
1) I really enjoy hosting. I've always looked forward to having a home to decorate, work on (which, let's be honest, Jeremy does most of the work) and fill with people. I like when people leave stuffed and 10 pounds heavier because of an ample amount of delicious food. I love having our house be a place where people are comfortable.
2) I also really love having a clean house. Not normal clean... like I-could-lick-the-ground clean. I like fresh food, fresh meals, fresh flowers, everything to be de-cobwebbed, Chlorox wiped, not-a-dog-hair anywhere clean.
3) I also really like my job. And I want to keep my job, so I have to work lots of hours like most people who have a full time+ job.
4) I also really like to relax. To watch TV show after TV show and have zero guilt because I've truly relaxed after a long day, hanging out with Luna and Jeremy.
So I've got this bad habit that I
I want a ridiculously clean house, amazing food, and a "finished" feel anytime someone comes over. But there are time constraints, reality and relaxing that are a part of life.
Last weekend after being at a conference in Vegas I flew to San Diego and stayed at the Grand Del Mar, a super fancy hotel in, you guessed it, Del Mar, with Jeremy for a conference he was working. The place was immaculate. Everything was rich people colors, gold and dark wood and floral print couches. There were service people everywhere who opened doors and they even served ketchup in a fancy dish.
And although the place was beautiful, I felt out of place. I felt stared at and judged and cheap. I felt like my shoes weren't designer enough and that I didn't do my hair well enough. I felt poor. I felt fat. I felt uncomfortable in this place that is made with the only intention of it's guests having comfort.
And that, my friends, is my problem. I want people to come to my house and see the Grand Del Mar version. I want my laundry to be folded and my windows to be washed (which never happens, let's be honest). But people don't want the Grand Del Mar version. That version, although designed to be for comfort, makes us uncomfortable because it's NOT REAL.
Now of course we should still prepare for guests. We should be thoughtful and considerate. But is my true intention to make people impressed with me or to welcome them??
You see, I've got this bad habit of wanting to make people impressed with me. And I hate that I love it. I hate that I need it.
I've got this bad habit that I'm trying to break. To learn how to welcome people regardless of how that reflects on my material possessions.
With love from Roseville,
Paige
5 comments:
My house is clean but NEVER as clean as Barb's and Grandma Dean's. You must have got the "gene." It is a balance you must learn. Just remember that your guests don't see the clean or the dirt -- only the great time spending time in your home. Focus on what gives your guests the most "fun" and any time left over, spend on the cleaning. Can't wait to be a guest in your home. Jackie
Great post. Have you read Mudhouse Sabbath by Lauren Winner. She has a chapter on hospitality that I think you'd like.
I really enjoyed reading through your posts!
Annie
Wow - I just did this to a friend, like a week ago. I had told her I needed to clean my house before she came over, and when she did, she asked me if I had cleaned it all for her. I told her that her coming over was what got me to clean the house, but I hadn't really thought about how it would make her feel. Thanks for this post!
My "today" home isn't near as clean as my home "of the past." I put it to the fact that my legs hurt most of the time, may be an excuse, but it also is the truth. When I vacuum I do a room at a time and then I either sit down or do something not involving my legs, like go work on the bathroom and etc. It takes me all day to get my small 2 bedroom, 2 bath cleaned and I probably haven't dusted yet!!! That is the hardest thing for me to get done. Another thing, in this day and age, is that nobody hardly ever comes to my place. People just don't drop in like they did when I was a young wife and mother of my kiddies. Now, for me to fix a big meal for several people, which I would like to do, would take me forever cause I'd have to go sit down so often. My word to you is don't sweat the emacultly clean house. You have a dog and there is going to be dog hair no matter how hard you try not to have. You work full time and your body is going to get tired and it will take a toll on you if you try to do to much. Clean up as easily as you can, fix a meal that doesn't take soooo much preparing and relax to enjoy your visitors. I do realize that I am 80 years old and can't do the things I would like to do so have had to come to the "so what does it matter" way of thinking. Just be happy. I Love You, Grandma Dean.
My house is no longer clean, but I totally understand the good feeling when it sparkles. I too miss the big gatherings that use to be in my house. (Mom) Must be time for a family breakfast!
Love you Paigie!
Barbie
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