I always love the new year, hearing people's goals and dreams for the coming year. It brings a bright light to the dreary weather of January. Everyone's excited, gym parking lots are full, and people have an renewed optimism.
In November Jeremy lost his job due to a restructuring in his company. Unlike times before, I was never worried. I've learned (and am continuing the learn) over these last 2 years of marriage that it all works out. The money, the timeline, the worries... they all work out. There's no since in stressing and creating timelines and intensely making lists. I love the phrase, "Worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair: you go nowhere." It's useless and it robs us of joy in life.
Yesterday, as Jeremy and I were amidst celebrating 2 years of marriage, I went to a funeral for one of my clients, a physician, who's wife passed away after battling ovarian cancer for 3 years.
As a side note: It was the first Jewish funeral I've ever attended and I have to say, it was so incredibly beautiful how the funeral was a time of mourning. There are no flowers to be given to the family (as flowers indicate celebration) and everyone is in head to toe black. The family one by one ripped a ribbon, signifying how their heart was ripped in two by the loss. It was truly a time of grieving and remembering the loved one who passed. I thought it was fitting to not make it a time to be overtly positive but rather join the family right where they are in mourning with them. The period of mourning lasts 7 days and there are services in the evenings to pay tribute to the one who passed away, and family and friends gather and bring food and gifts to the remaining family. I wish the Christian tradition had a period of mourning too. I think it's so necessary.
The funeral added to to this season of reflection as I look at my goals and wishes for 2013. Hearing each family member speak of her love for life, her joy for art and creating, her hilarious quirks she embraced, her selfless love for her family and friends... when I heard her life summarized over and over and people couldn't stop trying to explain how inherently beautiful she was... it put me in the deepest reflection of my own life and qualities I wish to draw out.
I really have appreciated the free
goal-setting list on THIS website. It's quite extensive and it's helped me to create specific goals in every area, from finances to relationships. I'd recommend printing it out.
Here are a few of my general 2013 goals:
- Loving people. Creating special time with the people who are special to me. Being kind and generous to everyone. Looking homeless in the eye and greeting them with a smile. Loving Jeremy with my whole heart.
- Being bold about Jesus. I am so proud of Jesus and how he has changed me and the hope I have in Him. I find it easy to go to another culture and talk to people about Jesus but not with people I interact with daily, as to not "bother" them. I need to get over this and not be ashamed about my identity in the Lord!!! (Confession: I have a fear of being that awkward Christian who pushes religion into normal conversations where it doesn't fit. Trying to find a middle ground... and wondering if there is one?)
- Maintaining discipline. Creating daily time with Jesus that becomes second-nature. Exercising daily without excuses, except for sickness. Not consuming an excess of sugar, dairy, coffee and fiber because my body hates it. Finishing tasks and projects- not quitting. Not working my job outside of my work hours.
- Embracing life. Having an open mind. Not shying away from creativity, projects and things that make me feel alive and vibrant. Drink more tea and eat delicious foods. Bake even though I'm bad at it, cook even though it takes extra time, and sew even though I become an anti-social hermit.. because I love all three of these activities!
- Dwelling on positivity. I am not good at this, and a
recent blog post found HERE by a man I admire, Ezra, helped me realize that my negative attitude is my responsibility. My solution of this is to be aware of how truly grateful I am, and let that trump the negativity. I'm in my car all.the.time. so I have started talking to myself during my drives, speaking of how I am grateful and praying out loud. I am playing fun music and minimizing talking to negative people. My outlook is my responsibility!!
Some fun highlight of this year so far:
1) This Friday Jeremy starts a new job in his same industry as before, medical device sales, with Terumo Interventional Systems in vascular surgeries. It's a lot of learning since he hasn't done vascular surgery before but he's a natural at learning anatomy/terms/surgeries and has been diligent in researching and studying to prepare. I am so proud of him for getting this wonderful job!!! He never ceases to amaze me in his abilities and capacity to adapt and grow. I am so proud of him!!
2) I've gotten back into cooking and I am LOVING it! If you follow me on Facebook I've posted most of the recipes I'm using there. (Sorry I'm not sorry for all my food pictures ;))
3) As I mentioned earlier, we celebrated 2 years of marriage. I am just so thankful for these last 2 years. Words can't begin to describe my gratitude of having the most gracious, loving and generous husband. I really am amazed by him and his capacity to love me unconditionally. I love that he truly listens to what I say and doesn't shy away from challenging me. I love how much of Jesus I see in him.
4) Luna is still the cutest dog in the world and we love her SO MUCH!!!!
With love, joy and peace from Roseville,
Paige
