The Kicker

I have a story to share with you. A story of stories.

And it's a little long, but you CAN'T scroll down to the end.

Promise?

I know blog readers aren't really the "novel" type. Stick with me here.

Here's a taste of the climax:

So, I'm on the job hunt. And it's not the easiest of things.

First: the online search.

The online search is a little complicated. If you search "El Centro Jobs" you'll come up with over 1,000 posts. Well my friends, I've looked at each post. (You may recall the Facebook anecdotes about being an archeologist...). Out of over 1,000 posts, there was about 15 that I applied for, about 30 total seemingly credible options if I included all retail jobs.

Second: the application.

This took a surprising amount of time. First of all, I'm a little tired at this point since my have gone blurred from sorting through the 1,000+ postings. And now I'm on each post fulfilling their specific requirements (Eg, a cover letter, resume, survey, questionnaire, etc.). Props to people who have been unemployed longer than 2 weeks and have been doing this a LOT! It's not too fun :\

Third: the wait.

Since everything is online now, once you submit your resume, etc. you have to wait for 1) the automated response from the company that they've received that- IF they have a good HR staff that set up that feature and 2) any sort of rejection/invitation for further steps.

That was the setup. This is the story:

Now, I'm not the most detail oriented person. I like results, approximations, summaries... let's just say I wouldn't apply for any sort of position that thrives off of "data analysis."

So, as you can imagine, in my job hunt I gave a good look over.... er... skim over of the qualifications/job summary and sent my resume on. I figure if ANYONE is interested I'll look into it more then. (That's me defending myself- I know.)

Well I get a few automated responses, a few "I'm sorry you don't fit our criteria but you are still a great person, I'm sure" and a few blank stares. So after 4 days I start calling the companies that didn't respond already.

Now among many other companies, I applied to a local state prison. The bullet points I remembered from the job summary: executive assistant, good pay, four days from home and one day at the prison, seemed like personal secretary type of stuff, had to be independent and reliable.

Well, on the 4th day I called this prison and left a message for the woman in charge of new hires.

The 5th day, I called her back and had an interesting conversation. First of all, she was really confused and I was pretty sure she wasn't "the" person who I should be talking to. She had no idea about this job, kept asking me if I was talking about some other position, and I ended up just having her google a few things to find the posting I was looking at.

She regretted to inform me that it looked like a hoax add. She was super apologetic and I think she was a little embarrassed for me, applying for a job that didn't exist. And I was a little bummed since the job seemed like it would have fit perfectly. So we hung up and that was that.

So. I. Thought.

The climax.

I get a call later from a "760" El Centro number, excited if this could be a prospective job calling to say I'm the perfect candidate and they've been looking for me their whole life...

Well, it was prison woman and there was a lot of background noise from the people around her. She sounded a little... worried. She said she thought the job post didn't sit well with her so she had a few co-workers look at it. Then she said the kicker, that sent my stomach to a PIT:

"Paige, we have reason to believe this add was posted by an inmate. And we are very concerned."

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...

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My first thought: "I'M GOING TO DIE IN EL CENTRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

...

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...

So once I started breathing again, we talked about why she suspected this. And this is when I wished I was more like my husband: DETAIL oriented. Things that I had skimmed over sounded pretty fishy once they were read aloud to me: "Must be able to get through prison security," "Will work with motion picture types," and the kicker I am still embarrassed for:

"Busy h'w'd producer/philantropist currently inside (Name Excluded) State Prison"

Well I didn't know "inside" meant "ACTUALLY INSIDE!"

The resolution.

Well, although Miss Phone Lady freaked the CRAP out of me (please people of power, if you work in a PRISON don't tell someone who doesn't work in a prison that you are VERY CONCERNED- I thought I was going to DIE!)... sorry... it's still a fresh wound....

Anyways, although Miss Phone Lady freaked the CRAP out of me, 1) I did not get the job. HA! 2) I was never contacted 3) I did not give any information you couldn't find in a phone book... or on a resume lol. 4) I don't think my communication degree qualifies me for this sort of "independent" work.

So, I'm alive. And I think my chances of me staying alive are very likely.

:)

So, I continue the Housewife Life in hopes to not, ever, apply to work for a prisoner again.

With love and LIFE from El Centro,

Paige